Growing up, Rowan VanGoda had no idea that he could go from being perceived as a girl to a boy. When he finally realized it, he still didn’t think it was an option for himself. At the time, there was just one other kid at his school who was openly trans, and they weren’t in the best place mentally. Rowan tried to turn to the Internet, but what he found was mostly hate and vitriol.
Negative Images of Trans People in Media
When looking at movies, the trans community has often been portrayed as prostitutes, outcasts, or people destined for an early grave. One movie that stood out to Rowan was the 1999 film, Boys Don’t Cry. It’s a movie based on the true story of Brandon Teena, a trans boy who was raped, before his girlfriend was forced to look at his genitals and they were both killed.
Another movie that Rowan recalls seeing as a child was Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. In the movie, the main character realizes that he’s had romantic contact with a trans woman, which literally makes him puke. Later, he forcefully strips the woman to reveal her as a “man” and the entire police department starts puking, too. Rowan watched both of these movies growing up, and with only that representation at the time, he thought he was destined to live in a body that he hated or risk his own and his potential partner’s life by living openly as a man.
Imagine seeing those depictions as a child; how would you have felt? For Rowan, it led to complete and utter hopelessness. He pushed everyone away, something that he would later regret. Rowan wouldn’t even let his family touch him for fear they would get hurt like the people close to Brandon.
Struggles With Depression and Addiction
Rowan VanGoda thought he was destined to live an extremely poor, unfulfilled life — if he managed to survive at all. He assumed he wasn’t going to have a future, that he wasn’t going to be able to get a decent job, that he would never have a partner, and if he did have one, that they wouldn’t be safe. This led to a lot of personal struggles, including self-harm, drug abuse, and even attempted suicide just 7 days after his 13th birthday.
Like most people who turn to drugs, Rowan never intended to be an addict, and he was tired of scarring a body that he already hated. He simply wanted the pain to go away. On one occasion, he returned home from another miserable day at school wearing a corset. Rowan recalled thinking that if he forced himself to be as “girly” as possible, he would be able to be a girl; that it would fix whatever was “wrong” with him.
Consequently, Rowan’s days always started the same. He woke up, got dressed, made an attempt at putting on makeup, and went to school. Once there, he would meet up with another kid who would give him a shot or two, or the occasional joint or pill. Then, he would go through his day in a haze of numb self-hate. Rowan would smile, talk to people, try to act like everything was okay, and then go home. For no reason in particular, one day Rowan decided to try Tylenol as a final escape.
It might have been seeing the other trans kid get shoved into a window, or maybe it was the girl he liked calling him out for being drunk again. Whatever it was, Rowan needed the pain to stop. He started with three pills, thinking maybe if one would numb physical pain, three would help with the mental pain. But then he just kept going. He became lost in a haze of such inner hurt and self-hate that he just sat there, alone in the bathroom, taking one pill at a time, until he finally realized that the bottle was almost empty. Nobody, trans or otherwise, should ever have to go through so much fear and suffering just for trying to be who they are.
A Light at the End of the Tunnel
Rowan was released from the hospital and, while trying to figure out how to make his chest go away, he found Aydian Dowling’s workout videos on YouTube. At the same time, he met another transmasculine kid who was at the top of the class. The boy helped Rowan get into honors classes and stayed after school to tutor him. Between the other trans boy and Aydian, Rowan found hope that maybe his life was worth something.
Rowan still couldn’t find another transgender person in the business world though. Aydian was a public speaker, and he’d centered his whole life around activism. Meanwhile, Rowan still hadn’t even come out to his family. Rowan didn’t know how to make that change, and he didn’t know what he was going to do with his future. Then, he found Ty Turner. Rowan had no idea what Ty did or how he made a living, but he was another handsome transman who seemed happy and full of life. It wasn’t much, but it was helping move Rowan one step closer to happiness and confidence in his own identity, As it happened, Rowan’s father was dating a woman at the time who was part of something called the Unitarian Universalist Church. They were very open and their primary message was that people are inherently good and deserve love. They introduced Rowan to his first mentor, who was actually gender fluid. They were a carpenter, and so Rowan thought maybe he could get into a trade, too.
Rowan didn’t like the idea of college much anyway, so he dove headfirst into mechanics. He went to three different high schools, pursuing mechanics and fleeing people who sought to out him, but the same thing seemed to happen everywhere he went. There was another kid who literally moved schools with Rowan every single year. Finally, in his last year of high school, Rowan dropped out and enrolled in an alternative education plan at a nearby college. The same kid followed Rowan there too, and Rowan still didn’t feel safe to be himself at college.
Nonetheless, Rowan VanGoda graduated early and started working his first full-time job at just 17 years old. It was a mentorship program in mechanics, and he was beyond excited. They would pay for his school, give him a Master Tech to train under, and even a bunch of free tools! Life couldn’t have turned out better, except for that one little thing that had chased Rowan through four different schools.
At the end of the day, Rowan was still trans. After everything he had experienced in high school, he didn’t feel safe being “out” at work. So, despite doing work that he loved with one of the most amazing opportunities possible, he was miserable continuing to play the role of a person who wasn’t him, yet again.
Fortunately, Rowan started working for an LGBT-certified company and took the opportunity to officially transition. He moved into management and was so much happier and more confident, but he still felt trapped and uneasy most of the time. People were so negative and, despite being an LGBT-owned and LGBT-friendly workplace, there were still people who would get frustrated and angry if someone (including Rowan) corrected them about the right pronouns. So, Rowan started looking for trans business leaders again, but there really weren’t many out there.
That’s when Rowan asked himself an important, albeit depressing question: How could someone expect to find a trans businessperson when people were just starting to accept trans actors and activists? The answer was simple. It couldn’t be done. The vast majority of trans people still feared coming out, let alone starting their own businesses using their authentic identities.
That’s when Rowan VanGoda made it his mission to become a leader of the movement towards trans entrepreneurship. If he could give even one other person the hope he had needed when he was thirteen, everything would be worth it. He endeavored to do everything he could to succeed for other trans people because nobody should ever have to hate themselves so much that they literally autopilot their way to death.
So how is Rowan planning to give other trans folks hope? For starters, if you’re reading this, Rowan’s plan is already in action. He wants to get his story, his deepest truths, and his vulnerabilities out there to help trans people know that they are not alone. At the same time, Rowan VanGoda is working to build a company with one goal: amplify trans voices, brands, and products.
Rowan VanGoda’s Advice to LGBT Entrepreneurs
Why is it that 45% of businesses fail in the first five years? It’s not a bad product or service; it’s bad marketing. A business can’t grow if nobody knows it’s there. There are tons of people who continuously use old, outdated marketing tactics and sell them as the solution to people’s problems when they will never really work. For example, who still uses TV commercials? Most people just watch Netflix now. So, entrepreneurs have to look where the customers’ attention is going to be, not where it was in the past.
While this advice could apply to virtually any business owner, it’s especially important that it reaches LGBT business owners. People try to scam LGBT and especially transgender business owners with their marketing services. They say they’ll do all of the SEO, but SEO is a long-term strategy. When doing SEO, one has to wait 3 to 6 months to see results. So, a trusting business owner pays someone for those 3 to 6 months with no results, after which the provider just disappears. In the end, all of that hard-earned money is lost for nothing. just to be clear, SEO works, and there are good providers. There’s just also a lot of scammers out there, too.
Another thing people do is use scare tactics like “follow xxx account or Pennywise the clown is coming for you” to drive traffic to people’s accounts. There are so many problems with this strategy. First of all, the people who are believing these messages are mostly children. Is it really worth scaring children and ruining your client’s name just to make a quick buck? Rowan doesn’t care if you’re any type of phobic, that’s just plain wrong.
Rowan VanGoda could go on and on with tips for fellow LGBT business owners, but the last example he has is specifically for PR reps. Many PR reps make claims about being able to get their clients into Forbes, but they really mean Forbes India. People get scammed by tricks like this all the time, and Rowan VanGoda is sick and tired of it. So, not only is Rowan going to help lead the march towards openly owned trans businesses and entrepreneurship, but he is going to make sure they have all the latest marketing and strategy techniques available to them, too!
Want to learn more about Rowan and the future of trans entrepreneurship? If so, you can reach out to Rowan on his Instagram, LinkedIn, or the contact form on his agency’s website to follow along or join the fight in support of trans-owned and friendly businesses everywhere!
